A Swim in the Mainstream

Martin Garrix / Clean Bandit / Cheat Codes & Little Mix

 A Swim in the Mainstream

The shimmering heat parches my tongue. How many days since I smelt water or felt moist? Too long! A handful of sand at a time I drag my way across the vast dusty deserted desert; yes, it is I, Rich Shapero. Oh cruel torment, oh baking heat. I whisper a last prayer through my cracked lips; ‘save me oh great Polyp, my life for you’. Night falls and…And he comes! He comes and I am submerged, every pore gaping in relief. But there is a price; always a price. First I must perform a great service…

Martin Garrix featuring Khalid – Ocean

They’ve spent a lot of money on fluorescent bulbs for the video of this song and there’s a translucent box in which two people and just kind of stand around while the pink bow tied Khalid dances and lip-synchs like he’s on Ketamine. I think they’ve missed a trick not putting an actual ocean in the video, seems a slam dunk to me. Instead it’s in a dark warehouse full of standing water. Come on Khalid mate, look interested! The song’s ok actually. Inoffensive.

Clean Bandit – Solo featuring Demi Lovato

I had high hopes for Clean Bandit back in the Jess Lynn days but then they collaborated with Sean Paul and I knew it was over. This is a strictly by-the-numbers release. The video is weirdly entertaining. A girl has an argument with her boyfriend, which prompts her to acquire some kind of drug, cooked up by the blokes from Clean Bandit, which she sprinkles in the boyfriends food turning him into a psychedelic Labrador, which she strokes. The song is about masturbation. How these elements combine is an open question. Demi Lovato sings and provides the means to an end.

Cheat Codes, Little Mix – Only You

My heart sank when this one came up but in all honesty it’s not that bad. The video has a plot involving a Sapphic mermaid which is executed quite well in the limited time available and Little Mix, a band that, in a sane world, would no longer exist, barely make an appearance. The song doesn’t break new ground but has a claustrophobic intensity and a melancholic sophistication that pleases me. The overall lesson? Don’t push mermaids into swimming pools! It’s mean, it hurts them and you’ll never get rid of the smell of fish.

Ah the interlude is brief; so, so brief and I…must return. A drop of rain swells and grows on the tip of a leaf, a universe in which to play.

Between the moment of inertia and the fall I choose the water. Where will I fall? Only time will tell.